Happiness can suck… well its timing really. It seems like when we need it most, it disappears. But then, sometimes we have so much of it, we simply implode. But the one thing you can count on, is that even when all happiness goes silent, it has it’s way of always coming back around.

Through braving rougher weeks, the thing I’ve learned through all of it, is the most random things happen when your life is completely spiraling out of control. When you let go and stop trying to fix everything, life falls together as if the pieces were together all along. You discover wonderful people, you go extraordinary places, and most importantly, when you stop trying to hold yourself together, you find pieces of yourself you never knew you had.

It’s not always pretty, we all mess up. We all tell a lie, hide a secret. But, just because a person tells a lie, doesn’t make them a liar. We are not defined by our mistakes, but by how hard we fight to fix them. When we see the mess we’ve made, and go through hell cleaning it up, we can proudly move on. Yes, people will still judge you on your past, but that’s because it’s all they know. People cling to the past, because the future is scary. We miss the past, and even crave the past, but that doesn’t mean happiness isn’t just around the corner.

The reason we miss the past is because we so strongly fear that there won’t be anything better in the future. But, the moment you catch a glimpse of how great of a future God has in store for you, little by little, things become okay again. You catch yourself singing to happy songs, and you finally hear your real laugh for the first time in months, you don’t feel the need to force a smile, but instead enjoy life.

You truly become happy, happy in yourself. The beauty in life comes out again, slowly but surely. And once you become untouched by the saddness of missing your past, you look around, and you are blown away by the absolute amazingness of your life.

I was sitting there, surrounded by people who loved me, not for my outgoingness or my adventure, but for my heart. And they all came together to surprise me with a prom proposal. As silly as it sounds, they were there to simply make me happy.

When you realize that the people in your past are in your past because there’s more in store for you, you can actually see the miracles God is doing. He gives you a guy, who has the intentions of not breaking down your walls to leave your heart open and raw, but to protect it with his. A guy who doesn’t just love a single part of you, but the parts that you even hate about yourself. He gives you people who see in you what you can’t see in youself. He gives you friends who repeat over and over the truths you don’t realize. He gives you happiness in being you and suddenly you’re the quirky and awkward girl you’ve always been. You fall back together in the most beautiful way. You can proudly wear your red lipstick and wear those funky outfits that you put in the back of your closet. You become proud of your frizzy, uncontrollable hair again and start loving the unfortunate way you laugh. And you learn to never, ever let anybody take away the pieces of you that make you shine.

Signed With Love,

-T