And just as easily as she ran away from her problems, all the avoided parts of her life came crashing together…

Missed opportunities.

Parents.

Divorce.

Motherhood.

They all swallowed her like a swarm of bees… or wasps should I say?

Bees at least lose life after a sting.

But with my brain… My marvelously creative and imaginative brain… I get wasps.

Capable of coming back to sting me again and again as many times as they wish.

My fears weren’t producing honey and I was certainly no Queen.

Instead, the troubles I couldn’t fix kept me out of breath, sleepless, and driven to insanity.

I wasn’t just hosting an angry nest, I was BECOMING the angry nest.

I had to run.

With a need to stay ahead of it, whatever it was.

My panic

My doubts

But mainly… My sadness.

RUN.

…

And just as easily as she ran away from her problems, all the avoided parts of her life came crashing together.

Well, crashing is an understatement…

A crash could be a wave on a beach.

A fall on a skateboard.

I mean, shit… It could literally be forgetting to eat a candy bar

No.

This is not what this was.

Not even close…

This was a fucking nuclear implosion.

Nowhere to run.

So, let the flames burn thy flesh to bone.

And instead, I made the nest thy home.

The wing’s rattle became my whisper

The heat became my honey

The swarm became my swaddle.

My shame became my healing.

My discomfort became my default.

And suddenly, I felt home.